SoMaEminem:
by AliceUnknown
Summary: Songfic drabbles/oneshots based on Eminem songs. Why? I dunno.
1. Beautiful

**Alright, so I know that I'm taking on waaay too much here by doing this, but I've decided to do a series of one-shot songfics by none other than Eminem. And no, it's not because he's my absolute favorite artist of life and he's a god or whatever. It's because I feel like his songs are really from the heart, and sometimes stuff we can all relate to. And, I've really wanted to do a songfic for a few SoMa oneshots from songs by him, and I've now decided, Hey, there's a shitload of stuff I can use, so why not just do a OneShot collection of Eminem songs?**

**So, Sorry, if you don't like Eminem or anything, although I don't think it really matters. The lyrics are really a lot more important in here, so please read, and, if you have a heart, you will ~.R.E.V.I.E.W.~ thanks~!**

**DISCLAIMER; I do not own Soul Eater, nor any of the songs or lyrics included in this collection. All completely belong to their respectful owners.**

_~Beautiful_

"_Don't let them say you ain't beautiful_

_They can all get fucked_

_Just stay true to you."_

This was getting ridiculous.

"Hey, pigtails," scoffed the adolescent boy. "Why is your hair like that?" His question, which Maka plainly ignored, received some laughter and a few jeers from the small group of others around her. "What the hell are you, like, six?"

"Ha, yeah, and what's with that outfit?" asked another boy, which got approving comments and some more mocking laughter. "And when are you gonna get a chest, huh?" The group exploded in laughter, some even resorting to holding their stomachs to keep themselves upright.

It didn't really bother her anymore.

It was obvious that these guys were just younger images of her idiotic father- all about the boobs and the ass. It wasn't even worth it in her eyes to comment or respond at all.

And anyways, she had received these rude inquiries for years. Granted, her chest _was_ still pretty small for a recently sixteen year old girl, but she actually didn't mind it all that much. Everyone (that being, the retards who wanted to make fun of her, such as these people) had just assumed that she took having a small chest very seriously.

She just rolled her eyes at the guys before proceeding, as she was, down the hallway to her next class.

This must have come off as her not having a comeback, judging by the ample amounts of laughter she heard. However, this did not hinder her from walking steadily down her path.

And then, all of a sudden, she was slammed into the nearby lockers from behind. As she recovered herself, though, the group of about five or six guys crowded around her, tormenting her with harsh laughs. They all began mumbling to each other about her. The one that looked to be the pack's leader stepped forward.

"So, this is the face of the 'best meister in Shibusen', Maka Albarn, eh?" He inched forward, leaning dangerously close to her vacant face. He smirked, then his gaze trailed down to her chest, then farther down to her butt. "Heh. Doesn't look like much." The agreement was mutual, and roars of laughter could be heard from the followers.

Now they were just being annoying. She really needed to get to class soon, or else Soul and Dr. Stein would really start wondering where she was. "Excuse me. I need to get to class," she nonchalantly said.

"Oooh," they whispered, mocking fear. "Yeah?" the leader asked. "Make us move." They all smirked. "Come on. You're the 'best meister in Shibusen', aren't you? Surely, you can force your way out of us."

They were toying around with her. Maka was sure they were all well aware that a non-meister-weapon battle- especially one without a teacher present- could result in serious consequences. Nevertheless, they still formed a semi-circle around her, taunting her to attack them.

In truth, she probably couldn't win anyways. If there were one or two of them, then she would probably be able to easily take them down. But going up against _six_ guys who were all at least twice her weight in muscle and who towered over her effortlessly would not shift the odds towards her favor.

When she didn't make a motion to inflict harm on any of them, one of the guys snickered, "Hey, maybe she likes it."

The leader nodded, smirking gloriously. "Hah, yeah, probably never got this much attention from guys before, now have we?" he asked to her, like she was three. "I bet you like a bunch of guys staring at your God-awful face."

She was slipping.

But even so, she was still a good distance away from losing her grip. "Move," she demanded, her voice now much firmer.

The leader was still liking the idea of Maka fancying him. "Well, I'll bet she'd like it if I do..." He took a stride forward, pressing his body against hers on the lockers, and began running his hands up her legs, coming dangerously close to lifting up her skirt with the tips of his rough fingers. Out of instinct, she kneed him, not really paying attention to where, but just trying to get some distance from him.

And, oh, whadday'know. Her knee just happened to thrust itself right in his happysack, sending him groaning loudly in displeasure back into the group.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

Fucknoodles.

Now she had done it. She couldn't have just yelled at him to get away from her, or pushed him away with her hands or fists. She had to let her knee do the job, effectively ending the happy tea party happening down there and sending her hopes of arriving home uninjured soaring downwards, crashing horribly.

Fantastic.

Of course, it only took moments for him to get back up, grab fistfuls of her locks and furiously shove it against the wall of lockers repeatedly in such a blind fury that he probably couldn't even tell what he was saying.

Which went something like,

"FUCKING WHORE! YOU'RE AN UGLY FUCKING BITCH, AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE UGLY! YOU DISGUST ME! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FAT ASS AND YOUR TITLESS-CHEST TOO! YOU LITTLE FUCKER! FUCKING UGLY, SKANKY DIKE!"

It would have been a miracle if she had enough brain cells by the end of this beating to have an everyday conversation with BlackStar.

Unfortunately for her, the bell for class had run long ago, and the hallway, coincidentally, did not have many classrooms down the strip. The group of guys were now nervously watching, half cheering him on and half going, _Uh, he's kinda loosing his mind right now...he's gonna kill her soon enough. But like hell I'm gonna be the one to stop him. _So, Maka would just have to patiently wait for him to finish knocking her brains out until she could maybe escape home to patch herself up.

This torture had gone on for almost two minutes before the bully had felt the ice-cold tip of a piercing sharp blade at his neck.

He slowly turned to meet with the most terrifying pair of ruby eyes he had ever seen. He froze, clumps of Maka's hair (which had now become darker with the blood) still collected in his knuckles.

Maka looked up, barely conscious. "...S...Soul?"

Soul did not divert his gaze to his deeply injured meister, but instead glared at the guy with such a tangible killing intent in his icy stare. Words cannot describe how completely terrifying his murderous stare was, unblinking and unwavering. He did not say anything either- no comment about how it wasn't cool to hurt his meister, no dangerous threat, nothing. By now, the group had retreated. In actuality, they had left as soon as they saw Soul approaching them, but their leader had been too distracted.

He couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. There was just so much deep fury and hatred built up in him that he couldn't even open his mouth.

Thankfully, the guy had taken the extremely blunt hint, and, hands shaking, dropped Maka's hair. "I...I-I-"

He was cut off by his own whimpers and terrified yelps as he scurried down the hall, getting as much distance as possible.

He then took notice of his meister, who was slumped on the floor. She fell promptly when the man had released her, not finding the strength in her muscles to remain standing up. Soul bent down to her, checking her face an head area. Fresh blood was drying now in her hair, and she had multiple bumps on the back of her head. No doubt, she would have bruises all along her head and neck in the morning.

"Maka?" he asked his meister. "Are you okay? Can you stand? Or talk?"

She nodded her head very slowly, but, deciding it caused too much pain, weakly said, "I'll be fine."

Which meant that, apparently, she wasn't right now.

"What the hell was that all about?" he asked, gently propping her back up against the wall. He decided they would slowly work their way to standing up.

She attempted a shrug, and failed miserably. "I don't know. He just started calling me ugly at first."

"What?" he spat. "The fuck is his problem? What happened after?"

She sighed. "He started harassing me. He pushed me against a locker and..." She trailed off. "So then I kneed him away and he got really mad and started shoving me by my hair."

Soul scowled. "What's up with that?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "Just because someone is unappealing doesn't mean you start shoving them against a locker."

"But, you're not unappealing, Maka."

She paused. Then, Maka tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean? Of course I am. You even tell me yourself all the time."

"Jeez," he chuckled. "How badly did you hit your head? I tease you, Maka. I don't think you're ugly, though. Just because I tease you about certain stuff, I'd never think that you were ugly."

This kind of warmed the meister's heart. "Yeah, well, it seems like those guys didn't think the same way..."

"Well," he scowled. "Those guys have some serious problems. Fuck them."

She shook her head. "It's not just those guys either, though-"

"You're beautiful, Maka, don't change that."

…...Did he just...say that out loud?

…...Whoops.

"Uh, wait, I-"

She leaned onto him, embracing him in her sluggish form. "Thank you, Soul."

W-Wait, I didn't mean...

…...Aw, fuck it.

He laughed softly and placed his arms around her waist. "You know what else sucks?"

She groaned. "What?"

"We only have fish for dinner."

"...I hate today."

He actually- for some insane, completely psychotic reason that he could not figure out- actually liked today. Just a little.

***-I know Maka would never think "fucknoodles", that's just something I felt like I really wanted to get off my chest. That, and a whale's happysack can be about 10 feet long. You're welcome. Soul Eater Fanfics- Educating People On Things They Just Absolutely Do Not Want To Know. Yaaay~3 I feel so good, I have a place that I can share my extensive knowledge on whale dicks :3**

**I'm not even gonna reread what I just barfed up -.-**

**So, that would be the start of something I will seriously regret starting in the first place. I know, I know, I have to finish One Night and then The Letter and Moonstone, and even the rainy day of haruhi if I ever miraculously have the time. This will be updated very infrequently, though, so, subscribe, but don't expect the next one for a while. But, what did you think? As I said, they're all gonna be songfics using lyrics from Eminem songs. I already have about 8 planned out (that's for you, Kid ;3)**

**I live off of reviews. They are my food, water, oxygen and whale dick source. I must have them. Review. Or I die. You monsters.**


	2. Stan

**Woohoo, round 2! I'll try not to make it so OOC this time X) thanks a bajillion to anyone who reviewed! They really do make me smile ^u^**

**Diclaimer; I own nothing -.-**

_~Stan_

"_I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all _

_The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all _

_And even if I cold, it'd be all grey _

_But your picture on the wall _

_It reminds me that it's not so bad."_

Sometimes, he wondered why he even tried.

He should have predicted how terrible of a day it would be right from when he woke up. His Saturday morning, which was supposed to hold a much anticipated basketball game with Black*Star, was greeting him not with piercing cerulean skies and a nice breeze- perfect playing conditions- but rather with an unexpected, gloomy mass of threateningly dark clouds. The wind was whistling hauntingly against the window pane, foreboding more flawed weather to come.

Soul ended up slugging out of bed earlier than usual, the howls of the wind disturbing him from attaining pleasurable and very much welcomed extra hours of sleep. Maka was somehow miraculously able to sleep through the windstorm, so he was forced to sit and wait on the couch for her to wake up, flipping back and forth on the tv between weekend morning cartoons and a replay of the basketball game he'd watched last night. Deciding he kind of needed the comic relief, he stopped at Tom and Jerry. Unfortunately for him, the little cat and mouse weren't even successful in receiving one light laugh.

Maka ended up waking up about an hour later, surprised that Soul had beaten her to the new day. He asked her what was for breakfast and, after a short grumble about how he, "should have made it himself if he wanted it so bad," she began cooking eggs and french toast.

The rest of the day had progressed pretty smoothly. The two enjoyed their meager food while watching the un-funny characters chase each other around their tv screen. The two had expected the weather to let up soon, but by noon, splatters of rain droplets began to prick at the windows. Afternoon television consisted mostly of soap operas from twenty years ago and golf tournaments; neither of which the pair really liked at all. Eventually, Maka retreated to her room to finish her homework early and leisurely flip through the pages of her books. Which left Soul to go and apathetically play his guitar a bit in his own room.

Yet one can only play guitar for so long before the peeling skin and calloused pain on the tips of their fingers becomes too much. So about an hour or two later, So went back into the living room, just for the hell of it.

While walking there, he saw the house phone's light for missed messages blinking. Sighing, he went over to the machine and pressed down hard on the button, resulting in another brief sharp pain o the fingertip.

_You have; 1 missed message._

What came next immediately made Soul freeze, his heart hammering loudly in his chest in contrast.

"_Soul? Is...this is your number, right? It's Wes, you brother."_

He didn't dare breathe.

"_I, uh, I've got some news. I think it should be something I tell you directly, so, please call me back."_

And just when he thought it had finished;

"…_...and, listen, I know that we haven't been in contact for a while, but...I really do miss you. Anyway, I just really think that this is something you need to hear. Call me back as soon as you get this message. Ah...alright then, bye."_

_To delete this message, press 1. To call number back, press 2. To leave a numeric voicemail, press 3. To save message, press 4._

…_..._

…_..._

_To delete this message, press 1. To call number ba-_

"I GET IT!" Soul furiously shouted at the machine. He meant to press one, but his finger found himself inching towards the two button. The finger shifted uneasily between one and two periodically before finally smashing itself on the number four.

He took a very deep breath, closing his eyes and regaining his composure. He just focused on holding it in for a moment, then slowly released it, trying to steady his disturbed nerves.

_Why is he calling me now? What does he possibly-_

"Soul?" came the voice of his meister from down the hall. "What was that? What happened?"

He turned around, meeting her questioning viridian eyes.. His mouth opened to form words, but nothing came out. Instead, he pressed a button on the phone's machine, replaying the message for Maka to hear.

She listened intently, and once it finished, her eyes were wide and she breathed a soft, "Oh..."

Soul sighed deeply. "What should I do?"

She looked at him. "Well, you should call him back, right? It sounds important, whatever it is."

He knew this was what it would ultimately come to. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to his brother after hiding from him and the rest of his family for over five years. Lord knows how Wes got his number in the first place, but for him to call Soul after all this time of leaving him in solace meant that whatever it was that needed to be discussed really _was_ urgent.

About ten minutes later, Soul took a seat on the couch, Maka following in step, as the ring of the phone boomed into his ear. He was so nervous for some reason. His heart beat was anxiously increasing with each passing ring. A part of Soul desperately wanted Wes to not pick up.

"Soul?" Five all-too-fast rings later, the husky voice of his brother came through the other end.

"...W...W-Wes?" He needed deeper breaths again.

"Soul! Oh, thank god! How are you? How have you-"

"Wes. I'm sorry," he began, regaining his confidence a bit. "But I called to talk about this important thing you needed to tell me."

There was a sharp silence on the other side of the phone for the longest time. After a moment passed, Soul opened his mouth to ask again, but was shut up just as his voice was bubbling out.

"Mom and Dad are dead."

Soul's heart skipped a beat.

"…..."

"W...Wh...Wh-What?"

"I'm so sorry Soul. They were going to New York for a business trip, and the plane...it crashed...and..."

"..."

"...S-Soul, I-"

The voice of his brother was silenced by a monotonous tone from the other end of the line.

Soul slammed the phone on the coffee table, his spiked hair shadowing dangerously over his eyes. Maka jumped in the cushions of the sofa. "W-What was that about? Who was that, Soul?" she asked, her voice shaking ever so slightly.

Soul continued to sit in his seat, unmoving except for the quivering fists on either side of him. His whole body was rigid. Maka tried to coax him with her voice, afraid to make contact. "S-Soul, whatever it is, you can tell me-"

"They're dead."

Maka didn't move. "Who?" Her voice was barely audible.

"My parents." The way he said it seemed leveled, but Maka knew her weapon well enough to know that he wasn't okay.

"Oh my god! Are you-" she cut herself off, positive that he was, indeed, serious. "That's horrible." And it really was. Her words were sincere. She'd never even met the parents of her partner and best friend, and now she never would. Remembering how they were supposedly on bad terms with their son, she tenderly said, "I'm so sorry Soul. Are you gonna be okay?"

He didn't reply until roughly a full minute later. "I need to be alone." He promptly stood up and walked over to his room, his feet heavy and loud when they stomped. Maka opened her mouth to reply, but he shut the door the first chance her got, trying with all of his might not to transform his arm into a blade and rip everything in sight, punch a wall or just scream.

_A plane crash? A fucking _plane crash? That's_ what did it? What a fucking load! This can't be happening. _He frantically thought this as he paced his room, grabbing fistfuls of silver hair and pulling them around. _I still had to talk to them!_

He honestly regretted leaving them the way he did. Sure, Wes knew, but not his parents. In fact, they hadn't even done anything wrong. They had always simply told him that his talent and technique wasn't at his brother's level yet. Back then, he couldn't see that they still thought the talent he did possess was stunning. He never actually recognized that they were still proud of him. They hadn't ever even told him he was bad for Christ's sake!

Why the fuck did he have to figure this all out now?

Of course, he didn't regret leaving. It was for the best. He had a better life, with great friends, and he had Maka. But still, he didn't have to leave his parents wondering what they did wrong as parents to make their own son despise them so much-

"FUCK!"

He would not fucking cry, he would not fucking cry, no matter what, he would not-

Twin tears began to race down either side of his face, breaking the boundaries of the corner that restrained them.

He screamed. Or at least, he thought he did. He wasn't quite sure. He remembered opening his mouth, and his voice feeling scratchy, and a faint ringing in his ear, but he couldn't hear anything.

He knew that he was probably being overdramatic. His parents died. So what? It happened to a lot of people. Hell, Black*Star's parents died when he was a baby, so he never even got to see them, but you wouldn't see him going around crying about it. Liz and Patty probably had one of the most messed up family story he'd heard- since their mother was a prostitute and their dad was God knows where. Kid didn't seem to have a mother. And Maka- Maka's mother had left her a long time ago and her father dicked around with every woman in town.

At least his parents actually GAVE a damn.

The thought didn't help. It only reminded him of what a stuck up, uncool child he'd been acting like. He had totally blown off his parent just because they truthfully told him that Wes was a better musician.

He never realized 'till now that they still loved him.

And now, he'd never get a chance to tell them that he really loved them back, deep down under his stubbornness. He'd never be able to visit them, they'd never see him graduate, and they'd never hear him play the piano ever again. He'd never introduce them to his future fiancee or see them at the wedding, or show them their grandchildren, if it ever came to that. They'd never see him grow to be a man, and he'd never see their matching snow hair darken into a dull grey, or see them on a pair of rocking chairs on the deck of their old house, like they always wanted.

He hadn't realized he'd crawled on his bed and fell asleep crying until two hours later, when he woke up on top of his comforter with swollen eyes and a slightly damp shirt.

But there was something else there when he woke up, too. Lying down right next to him, eyes closed, breathing heavily, Maka. And she was grasping his hand- he faintly remembered, now, her holding it as he faded out of consciousness. He probably was too distracted with his thoughts at the time to notice her next to him, comforting him...

…...But she was there.

And maybe it was that he just felt better after crying and getting it out of his system, and he needed a nice long nap. But when he saw her there, just laying next to him, clutching his hand like it was the obvious thing to do, he just felt better.

His lips twitched up. "You're stupid," he muttered to the sleeping girl. Seeing as how she still had a strong hold of his hand as soft snores left her mouth, he judged that there wouldn't be any getting up until she woke up.

Although, he could probably get away with waking her up and NOT getting chopped. You know, given the circumstances.

He reached out to nudge her, but stopped. For some unknown reason, he just didn't want to move. He then sighed to himself for also being so stupid.

So he laid back down and just looked at her for a second. Just looking at her face, for some reason, made him feel like it would't be too bad. He'd get through it.

His hand in hers reminded him that, when he did get through it, he'd get through it with here right by his side, every step of the way.

The thought was soothing enough to comfort him back to sleep.

**Excuse me while I barf up the sparkles and fluff I choked on while reading this.**

**VOOOOOMMIIIITTT**

**that's better.**

**It's half past 3am, so i'm not going to review what I wrote now. So sorry for spelling errors X(**

**Lol, review make me grow wings. Like red bull.**

**REVIEWS GIVE YOU WINGS T.T**


	3. Cleanin' Out My Closet

**Woo! Third update in three days! I'm on a roll.:3 (I'm on a boat~! Not really. That just popped into my head.) Thanks a ton to everyone who has thus far been reviewing, the reviews really just make my day :)**

**By the way, when I say "cleanin' out my closet, just like in the actual song, it's not meant to be taken literally :)**

_~Cleanin' Out My Closet;_

"_I'm sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you_

_I never meant to make you cry_

_But tonight i'm cleanin' out my closet_

_One last time."_

She really didn't like the circumstances she had fallen into.

Of course, she hadn't _always_ felt this way about her burgundy-eyed, shark toothed, white haired partner, but things change. Now, there was a hint of what could only be desire when she looked at him. A whisper of want echoed in the very back of her head. She found herself acting a bit cold and bitter whenever she found him emptying out his locker that had recently began to fill with love letters. She couldn't help the muffled pang in her chest whenever he laughed with Tsubaki or Liz or Patty.

In fact, she hated it.

Why did things always have to end up being so complicated? It was a mutual understanding; they were just partners. Not only was she reminded of it whenever he downsized her chest, but also when a trail of blood dripped down from his nose at the sight of a nearly entirely-naked Blair.

And she wouldn't even know _how_ to act like a girlfriend. For just so many years, they had a great and treasured, strictly platonic _meister and weapon_ relationship. They were both aware that their bond was stronger than the usual ones at Shibusen, and they were both easily ready to sacrifice their own life for the other, but there was nothing romantic about it.

More like, best friends.

And do you know what one of the worst parts about it was? She knew she was a _betrayer._ That's right. She had _betrayed_ her own self. Her promise to not fall in love so irresponsibly was now, not only broken, but completely annihilated with a 610 mm AR 15 semi-automatic rifle.

**(I totally just Googled that. But hey, at least I sounded smart for a second there B3. like a boss.)**

And now what was she left with? These stupid, obviously hormonal, teenage romantic feelings for her stupid, apathetic, lazy-ass partner. And a broken promise.

Yet, although it had never been spoken, it always felt like she'd made this promise when one other person, too.

So that's why, when her mother called to check up on her, she began to actually feel _scared_.

"How's my little Maka doing?" came the sweet voice of her dear mother.

"I'm fine mom! Totally fine! Best meister in my class! Top grades! Yep~!" No, she did not sound frantic. Not in the least.

"That's great to hear, baby. How's Soul doing? He's a deathscythe now, huh? How's he-"

"Soul's fine! God, ma, why are you asking me so many questions? We're fine! We are both perfectly okay!"

Her mother scoffed on the other side of the phone. "You sound ridiculous, Maka. Come on, fess up. What's got you so stressed?" Her voice dropped a little. "Don't tell me your father went man-whoring around with another one of your teachers again, because I swear, I will march right over there and personally stick my foot right up his alleyway and send him to hell while-"

"Ah, no mom, it's not dad. Or anything about him." Maka swallowed. "It's just..."

Her mother's atmosphere instantly softened up. "What is it sweetheart? You can tell me anything, I promise."

Maka nervously laughed. "Y-Yeah, you say that, but..."

"Well," Kami said. "There's no backing out now." She remembered how she got her daughter to tell her anything. "C'mon, don't be such a _wimp_ about it. Whatever the problem is, keeping it to yourself and holding it inside all the time only makes it worse." She laughed, that light, breezy laugh that just felt so carefree.

She shouldn't have been talking.

"No offense mom," she began. "But I don't think you're one to talk about not talking to people when there's a problem with your relationship."

It was harsh, it was horrible, and it left a lingering silence over the phone with only minimal amounts of feedback static passing through them.

She instantly regretted those words.

Her mother tried to ignore the obvious insult. "Ah, so it's about a relationship now, is it? Okay, well, if you want to talk to me, you can..."

Maka stuttered. "L-Look, I'm really sorry mom, I didn't mean it...I-I just..." She sighed. "I guess I kind of understand the feeling now..."

Kami shrugged, though Maka couldn't see it. "It's okay, hun. I know you didn't mean it. But, more importantly, what is it that's got you so upset?"

Maka paused. "It's...it's..." She looked over her shoulder to verify Soul wasn't in the room, and was relieved to remember he had went out with Black*Star, Kid and Kilik for a basketball game. "It's Soul."

"Hm?" Her mother hummed with interest. "What's wrong with Soul?"

"I-It's not so much _Soul_ as me. I...I-I..."

"Love him."

"Yeah, I- wait, WHAT?"

Kami chuckled. "You think I didn't know that? C'mon, Maka, I'm not _that _dense. I know my own daughter."

Maka's mouth looked, in short, _unhinged_. "B-But, you've never even met him! How could you-"

"Mother's instinct never fails, Maka."

Maka slapped her own forehead. For what reason, only Shinigami knows. "I'm so sorry, mom! I never planned for it to end up like this! I know you've always told me that it's despicable to depend on men and they're worthless and you always get hurt by them, and I know I've betrayed you as a daughter, and I hate myself for it, but I can't help it! I blame hormones! I swear to god, I'm sorry, but I just-"

"God, Maka, SHUT UP ALREADY!" Kami began giggling terribly. "Sheesh, and did I say those things?" She cringed. "Man, I was going through a _bad_ mourning phase..." She laughed again. "Well, in any case, I was just saying those things because I was ticked off. I never really meant for you to take it so seriously. I just wanted you to not follow my example, and be more careful around men, that's all. Damn, I don't want you to die a virgin-"

"I get it, mom!" Maka stopped her when she began to sense where the conversation was headed. "I just thought you'd be mad, because, you know, I just so happened to love someone who calls me 'tiny-tits' and is lazy and stupid and a total moron and _leaves his damn clothes and stuff all over the freakin' house!_"

"Ahahaha~!" Kami chimed in. "You two already sound like an old married couple~." She took a deep sigh. "Maka, you have much better judgement with guys than I did. I mean, I was smart, but I was naïve. Don't think that your dad was the first man I ever dated. He was just the longest relationship I had. I trust you, Maka. And, to be honest," she scowled, "I'm sure there's no way in hell your man-whore father would let you date just anyone. Trust me, you've got more of a battle to win there than you do with me."

Maka deadpanned. "I...do?"

Kami smirked. "Of course, if it ever comes to dating, I do wanna meet him first."

Maka slouched, holding a hand up to her forehead. "Oh god, ma, you're not gonna scare the crap outta him, are you?"

"Well, y'know...maybe a little..."

**I love this Kami. I really hope she is like that. She'd be the coolest mom, I swear. Especially the part when she went off about Spirit. Lol, I hope she's like that, if she ever gets introduced.**

**I'll make the 'review' sign pretty so you'll appreciate the effort and do it :)**

**~ : : . r**_ e_v** I **_e_w** . : : ~**


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